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a man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. as he did so a glaeye fell into his hand.
he looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
"is this yours?" he asked.
she said, "yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.
on arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. as she was very attractive he agreed. shortly afterwards she said, "i'm about to have dinner. there's plenty. would you like to join me?"
he readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. as the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "i've had a marvelous evening. would you like to stay the night?"
the man hesitated then said, "do you act like this with every man you meet?"
"no," she replied, "only those who catch my eye."
Dont be frightened! When a Bennington student, 10 minutes before you come up to the podium hands you a mace, that he made,
If you dont bring it to the podium with you, you will never be Bennington.
So I would like to thank you Ben for helping me put the fear of God in the audience tonight. But I have to put it down because Im an actor, and I am really weak. That was heavy! It wasnt like a prop. That shit was real!
Thanks Ben.
So now Im going to read. And Im not off book. So I might be looking down a lot.
Thank you, President Coleman, Brian Conover, faculty, students, family, alumni, some of whom are dear friends of mine who have travelled all the way from the big city to see me hopefully not humiliate myself tonight.
And especially thanks to you, the Graduating Class of 2021.
See, as a joke I wrote, hold for applause, and I was actually going to read that. So you kind of killed my joke!
Good morning India!
Today on 15th August 20xx India is celebrating its 67th Independence Day,and we Indians are proud to say we have owned our freedom 67 years old back.As we gather here today I take the opportunity to congratulate every student and teacher of this School/college a Happy Independence Day! I also take the opportunity of welcoming you our chief guest for today!
We have assembled here to celebrate our 67th Independence Day.As a citizen of India,I am so proud to talk to you about my mother India.On the night of August 14.1947,Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru rose to make a maiden speech in New Delhi,“When the world sleeps,India will wake to life and freedom.” Yes,India became free from the bondage of British rule.Now,India is the largest democratic country in the world.The country’s strength is to find,“Unity in diversity”.But,there are stray incidents that test her secularism but the people of India are ready to sacrifice anything for the cause of unity.
Today we remember the great leaders who gave their lives for the nation’s freedom and prosperity.Dr.B.R.Ambedkar gave the longest written constitution to us.Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru worked for an industrialized India.Gandhi Ji taught us Ahimsa and Non violence.Subash Chandra Bose inducted courage in us.Swami Vivekanand gave us spiritual power.Yes,with these contributions; India will be the super power in the coming years.Our former President Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam called the children of India to dream to build a strong Nation with aim and perseverance.Indeed!
This is not a word of a single man.It is word of one billionsouls.
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